Love My Doctor!!!

Today marks five months since our miscarriage in July. I will say it is still really hard. It is hard to find out people are pregnant all the time. It is hard to see babies everywhere. And it isnreally hard to think about all the children who do not have a family bc their parents did not want them or are to selfish. It is hard not to feel sorry for myself and think "why did I have to miscarry and all these other people don't have a problem". It is hard to look at the big picture because my big picture does not scan out farther then six months to a year haha. I have been on quite the roller coaster each month. Each month brings new sets of emotions and fears. I do know one thing this journey has taught me how precious the gift of children are. I have told many of my family and friends this but I have vowed that when God blesses us with a child I will not complain about being pregnant and be thankful for every single. I would rather be sick as a dog for nine months then never have a child. I am going to write that little reminder on every mirror in my house so I never forget the journey We are on right now. I give everyone who reads this permission to remind me of this!!! :)

On another note. I went to my doctor today and she is awesome. I was able to ask her every single question I had. I am sure she secretly laughed when I left because I had typed out 15 things I wanted to ask her and she answered them all. She is so understanding, does not panic and makes you really feel that she cares. It is to bad that more healthcare providers are not like my doctor.

I left feeling encouraged and we set up a plan for the next few months. I go back in Febuary for a follow up. I am secretly hoping that this visit is like the visits that happen when you have a cold. You know what I am talking about you get a cold and wait and wait to go see the doctor and then when you finally go you are all better. That is what I am praying for my Febuary appointment to go.

Please pray that I can trust God through this time and seek him when I am sad. Please pray that God blesses us with a child that is healthy. Please also pray that I can be a good wife through this season in our life.