Thursday Latelies: Warning no Hearts & Puppies

Well no Thursday latelies video today. I have decided to not link this to Bex or onto Facebook because if you are brave enough to read this debbie downer post you are exactly what I described a few words before BRAVE!!! Just imagine what my video would be..................probably like a dragon breathing fire on all that it touches. YEP pretty good mood. Below is the list of reasons why I am feeling sorry for myself today. I know that Thursday Latelies are a chance to be thankful for what you have and I am but the realty is life is not always hearts and puppies and today I need to be real. 

• Started the evil menstrual cycle - I probably could write paragraphs and paragraphs about how I feel about this right now. First thought is: Why can't I get pregnant? I feel like I am in a catch 22 right now b/c I am supposed to be doing all this stupid charting to take back to my Dr in Feb. I mean basically this just means every day I wake up take my stupid temperature that never does what is supposed to do, write down all my symptoms that have to do with headaches, insomnia and night sweats. Spend a crap load of money on dumb ovulation tests so that when the smile shows its face two or three different times during the month I can stop everything I am doing and follow its command. Once I have determned that I have indeed ovulated I enter into the agonizing TWW. I mean seriously this is torture and I just wish I could go into some massive denial. But, nope you have to deal with the pain of remembering how you miscarried and can't get pregnant again every day just so you have proof that your body is not working so your DR can start you on infertility. I know some are thinking well it has not been that long, but really until you have had a miscarriage and then suffered month after month of not getting preggo when everyone else around you is YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

•  JURY DUTY: Received this awesome piece of paper in the mail today saying I get to appear for Jury Duty Feb 6. Sounds all fat and sassy doesn't it? Ha maybe to some but that week I just so happen to have the auditors from some firm I can not even pronounce coming in to audit all of our fringe benefits for the last five years as well as our accountants for the week doing the yearly review. And on Friday was supposed to be my doctors appointment to get my thyroid retested and to talk about how infertile I am and what the next step is. So I guess I need to make up some hardship story to tell the Circuit Clerk to tomorrow why I can not possibly fulfill my civic duty. I mean I would give anything to be pregnant and be sicker then a dog so that I could say I would not be able to make it through jury duty. But nope I am sure they will say tough luck. WHY OH WHY??? Have I not already gone through enough sales tax, union, 401K year end mumble jumble then to have no baby and jury duty!

• YEAR END: The dreaded word for so many. I was really doing pretty well until today when the time came to actually close the books and pull everyone of the system. I call SMB b/c there seems to be some errors within the linking transactions in my company database. Does not sound like big deal right? Well it is was because you can not close the year out. And when you can not close the year you can not run payroll. And when you have so many freaking unions that you are a part of and they like to make every women who has to do payroll or associated with miserable b/c of their ridiculous rules about how and when and where a payroll check should be delivered it is a issue. So I am sitting here waiting for SMB to call me back (its been three hours and I waited on hold for 3 hours b4 talking to someone that said and I quote "Oh I am going to have to transfer your situation to someone else. I only handle the easy issues") so I can then stop and drop everything I am doing to head back to the office for them to be able to help me. Don't get me wrong I am super lucky and blessed to have my job but with technology today everyone is over worked and when you are forced to rely on equipment/programs to do your job it gets annoying!!!

As I was typing getting my emotions out and using this blog as my therapist today my husband decides he was going to video me and my facial expressions without my knowledge. He sent it to me and I thought it was funny. He said he could almost hear me say whatever I was typing by the way my eyebrows go up and down.