Fallin off the wagon

The blog wagon that is. Whew it has been a while since I have posted anything. I was thinking about this last night and I think the reason has been my emotions have been in a little bit of  turmoil.  Luke and I had a doctors appointment on Friday and got good news all around. He is totally fine and now that my thyroid levels are totally fine there is no obvious reason why we should not get pregnant.

While that felt like good news, that still does not change the fact that their is no baby now or in the near future.  We were also informed that we would not be able to receive any infertility treatment until July b/c our  insurance company consider's our one year of trying to conceive at the date of  my miscarriage. Funny thing about this is we have crappy crappy infertility coverage. Basically it is not even going to cover hardly anything and there is a lifetime maximum. I have considered going on my works insurance in august when the enrollment comes around, however after looking into it that plan does not cover infertility either. And b/c it is a policy of less then 25 people it does not have to go by the state mandate rules.  So at this moment I feel a little defeated playing the waiting game for something that really is not going to get us anywhere. That's where I am at and that is what really has been occupying my thoughts thus hindering my blogging creativity for some reason. However, for those of you who are not pregnant each month you have to help out your heart a little and come up with  reasons why the next month will be your month. Here is my list for March.

• March 13th would have been our baby's due date and so it seems fitting that maybe we will conceive again this month.
• I have always thought that a Christmas time baby would be really awesome and if we get pregnant this month we would be due Dec 8th.
• I still want to coach swimming and I was a little worried about getting pregnant and having a baby mid season so now we have entered a time where it would not be affected at all(I would be a huge whale walking around a pool deck but hey bring it on!!)
• I have actually had 2 whole baby dreams about a baby that was Luke and I's.  (This either means 1 of 2 things it will be a baby for us or someone else we know is going to tell us they are knocked up)
• And last but not least the last 11 months have allowed us to become 100% ready to be parents and fully grasp how precious the gift of a child is. I think that this experience has changed me(even  though I do not handle my emotions very well still sometimes). I think it has taught me more patience and it has given me a experience that not everyone gets to have and be able to fully understand. I pray that God uses me forever to be a comfort to someone else going through the same things I am going through right now.