Grapefruit Ovaries

I have really not blogged about our infertility journey in a long time in hopes that the next time I posted I could share great great news. It is funny most people who get pregnant wait to tell until they are through their first trimester. When you get to the point where you are seeing a RE. having surgeries, taking gobs of medicine, injecting your self all the time in the stomach, doing progesterone suppositories and having many many doctor appointments and procedures the "not telling" is kind of thrown out the window. Everyone already knows you are trying and it is kind of awkward to not talk about b/c infertility is the biggest thing going on in your life. Maybe some people are way better than I am but if someone asks whats been going on I am not going to lie. I need people to pray for me all the time and if those who care about me do not know how can they do that. 

Right now I am one week into my 2WW following our first IUI. I really feel great physically but do not think that it worked. Maybe you never think it works when it has not for so long. The beginning of this cycle was sort of rough. They put me on this little white pill days 2-6  that gave me horrible migraines. Then days 6-13 I had to give myself injections at night. Thankfully those did not give me  as many headaches but it still freaked me out a little. The only thing that those did to me was make my ovaries hurt and grow like crazy. I felt like I had grapefruits for ovaries and they were being squeezed to death,weird I know but that is the only way to describe it. In-between that I had 4 blood draws and two internal ultrasounds  which are not my favorite.  Last Friday I had my IUI  done and after the procedure the P.A. said that this cycle was probably a bust. Dumb lady who tells an infertile girl who has been shooting themselves up with hormones that has grapefruit ovaries that this cycle is probably a bust. 

So that leaves me to today. I have had zero pregnancy symptoms yet. Supposedly on progesterone you are supposed to have tons of  fake pregnancy symptoms and I do not have even one. I have more symptoms on cycles that we have done naturally than this one. I am positive that this cycle did not work and I can not quite figure out how I feel about that. Kind of just wish it would get over already so we can move one. The plan going forward is to take a cycle off then do IUI#2 if that does not work take another cycle off do IUI#3 and if that does not work then I will have one more rest cycle before heading straight to  phase 3 which is IVF. I really hope it does not get to that point. I for one do not want to have to wait for another six months to move to the next  plan but also I am sure the meds and injections really ramp up for a IVF.

At the end of the day the reality is I am still thankful for the blessings in my life and I need to keep that at the forefront of my mind at all times.