LOVE This

All I can say is that I absoultly love this idea with the see through bookshelves. I think I am going to do this in my porch between the wall and the post. Now all I have to do is either convince my hubby to build my something like this so it is exactly the right size or begin the internet searching.

Not sure what to title this post?

This post is to share a experience in my life so that I may be able to help someone else that may just need a friend who has been through it. 

Let me give you a little back story. We found out we were pregnant  recently and were super excited. I had been bracing myself for a very long journey b/c I was convinced I was infertile (Jodi E. has told me to be careful what I say out load b/c of how powerful words can be). Well after finding out very quickly that I was defiantly not infertile. I started planning/dreaming about what name I liked,  how I was going to decorate the nursery, dreaming about buying maternity clothes, wondering if I was going to birth a 10 pd baby (b/c lets be honest Luke is not little) and so on and so on.  Well two weeks ago today I woke up and everything went down hill. I started spotting and was emotional all morning long. By 11:00am I left work and decided that I better go lay down. Long story short after a couple days of blood test and many tears it was confirmed that I was miscarrying.

The first few days were sad but I think I was a little shocked or numb by what reality was. After about three days the tears came and they came out of nowhere. I had told my immediate family and small group and I was able to talk to people, but lets be honest besides my mom(who has had to listen to me really say the same thing over and over), my mother-in-law who has sent me encouraging emails every few days and Luke that is really where the convo's end. Don't get me wrong Luke, my mom and my mother-in-law have been super encouraging and have helped me greatly. I just have felt that I really wish I could talk to someone who has gone through this before.

It is weird b/c I remember always feeling sad for people when I have heard of someone going through a miscarriage but honestly that is where my thoughts have ended. No one really talks about these things to be able to relate. Over the course of the last few weeks I have had a few short conversations with people that have experienced this but not enough of a conversation to actually leave feeling like I was not in a boat out in the ocean trying to swim in uncharted waters.

 Although I have been feeling conflicted about writing this post I feel in a way that I am supposed to. I think society in a way has made a women feel like they were not supposed to talk about miscarriage. Maybe it is more that a women feel's like a failure b/c she was not able to carry her baby. Maybe it is the fear that if you actually talk about it, it may not go away. Maybe it is the feeling/thought that b/c it was so early on  in the pregnancy that your feelings are not valid and should not affect you. Maybe it is embarrassing even though why would it be embarrassing it was nothing we did and sure would not be something most people would choose.  Maybe some people are just private and deal with things in a different way. I am sure there is a bunch of different reasons.

The TRUTH is that it is painful and the pain does not just go away in a few days. Oh the wounds begins to heal and becomes less painful but just like a wound on our body a scare begins to form. Now scars do not inhibit us from living and it does not make us paralyzed to move on with the plan that God has for us. Scars are there to cover our wounds and remind us of what we have learned along the way. 

So here I am today still a little raw from this experience but standing on the other side. I am not sure what God has planned in all of this but I want to be used for HIS glory. I still want to start a family and it is hard and scary being patient. In the meantime I am putting myself out there and want to be a open book for someone that might just need someone to talk to.  

OH MY!

Some times I laugh at the things that Luke and I get ourselves into or think we are going to do. Back in 2007 Luke had bid on this little gem and won it for $40,000.00. Fortunately after a lot of discussion and planning on how to practically build a new house Luke  decided to forfeit. I think he ended up losing his $500.00 deposit on this House that was being sold "As-Is". Below is a little tour of our almost project.

When you walked into the front door you were greeted by this has potential but very sad fireplace. To the right was once bedroom one but now the whole house was just one open space.

Here is another picture of the edge of the fireplace and the window.  The floors in this house were all wood and could have been refinished in the living room but there were huge gaps in the dining room missing. 

This is a picture of the only bathroom in the house. Pretty pitiful I know. The second time I was in this house and we had begun taking measurements for things and beginning to draw out what we were going to do. I walked into the bathroom and did not see the 1ft x 1ft gaping hole in the floor and fell through. To clarify my entire body did not fall through just my entire right leg. It was scraped bruised and battered for days after. 

The house was being sold as a two bedroom with a loft and unfinished basement. Funny because I am not sure how they considered any of the house to be "finished". This is a picture of the crickety old stairs that were going to have to be replaced. These led upstairs to the loft. Pretty rough. Our idea was to have the master bedroom upstairs and possibly rig up a small shower and toilet. There were no definite closets so we were going to have to make closets that utilized the slope. 

The big brick part of the picture is where the chimney runs to the roof of the house. Positive Point: The whole house had brand new insulation this is the yellow stuff you see everywhere.

 And finally the last picture of this House tour is one of the basement. Nothing special pretty bare but it did have a little water problem.  I just realized that I do not have a picture of the front or of the kitchen. Don't worry you really are not missing out.

All I can say is that I am super glad this is not my house and really thankful this little (haha) project fell thru. 

Are You A "Light & Fit" Girl?

Are You A "Light & Fit" Girl? I know that I am!! Here are the stats on this yummy morning breakfast.

• (1) 6oz container of Dannon Light & Fit vanilla yogurt (80 Calories)
• (10) Driscoll's Rasberries (16 Calories)
• 1/4 cup Natures Path Granola (70 Calories)

I love these 6oz containers so much better then the large ones because my yogurt does not go to waste if I only feel like eating it 3x that week. The other reason that I love this breakfast is it is so easy. There is no toaster to clean out or cereal bowl to wash. All you have to do is peel the top off  add your granola and raspberries, eat and then throw away. 

Hope you are on your way to be a "Light & Fit fan. :)

Need a Bookmark?

I found this little craft the other day online and thought it was so cool. During the course of the last two years I have collected many paint samples. Here is what you do:

1. Dig out your paint sample box (For those of you who have remodel a house you will have one of these)

2. Pick out your favorite stamp. If you do not own a stamp you can find these anywhere. Hobby Lobby & Michael's have a huge selection for your enjoyment.

3. You will need 6-8 inches of ribbon or fabric and you will also need a couple hole punch reinforcements(These usually come in a package of 50 - 100.

4. Basically next step is: Stamp, Dry, Hole punch and Attach ribbon.

I think this craft would also be super fun to use as gift tags. I may just do this around Christmastime!!

Sister Island

My family has this running joke about someone getting voted off the "sister island". Funny thing is I am usually the one that gets booted off. Erica and Meghan constantly try to take pictures together without me just so the giggling can continue. Frankly all I have to say is  "RUDE"!!!!  I may get voted off this island but you can not be the favorite sister when you are the favorite daughter. :)

Waiting...

I just read a friends adoption update on her blog. She ended the blog by saying that they were in the "waiting game" with everything that this adoption is bringing. I can not imagine all that goes into trying to adopt out of the country and I am so excited that this family is honoring what God is calling them to do. So this post is not about anybody except myself.  My first thought after reading this blog was to feel sorry for myself and say "man I know how you feel that is all I have been doing lately".

 - I waited for my wonderful husband to propose to me for what felt like forever

 - I waited for my wedding to come

 - I waited for last summer to get over so my sister and her husband would come home from Costa Rica

 - I waited (and worked) for our house to get finished so we could move in

 - I waited for the last year so that we could finally try for a family

With all the waiting I have done I still am waiting. I am waiting for Erica to get done with grad school so she can move back home, I am waiting for a baby, I am waiting for the week to be over so I can have some down time. 

However, after all the waited/waiting I am realizing that I am spending so much time wishing for the next moment to come instead of finding joy in today. Can you even imagine how much we make God "wait" for us ?  It is incredible to me to think that no matter  how much God waits for us to start trusting HIM, waits for us to have a relationship with HIM, waits for us to honor HIS name HE is always patient. 

I am blessed!! I just wish it was easier to remember all the time.