Thursday, April 20, 2017

Thy Will

Love this song by Hilary Scott. And sometimes or lets be honest most of the time this encompasses my entire feeling about life.  

I'm so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don't wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I've got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know you're good
But this don't feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It's hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you're God
And I am not

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will

I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store

So, thy will be done

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Christmas May Be...

Christmas holds different meanings for everyone have you ever stopped and really thought about that? 

As a little girl Christmas was so magical. Something that you looked forward to all year. For me that meant spending the night with my cousins at Nanny & Papaws house. Waking up in the morning to stockings  and cinneman rolls, eating brunch, opening the perfectly wrapped presents, candlelight Christmas Eve service, candlestick lane and then another anticipated night of sleep to even more presents. 

As you get older and life happens Christmas changes. Stress, hardships, busyness and exhaustion get in the way. 

Christmas may become a time when everyone finally decides to get together. So you spend days in the car traveling back and forth just to try and enjoy a few jammed packed days with loved ones.

Christmas may be the newly single mom or dad of three kids working their butt off to save enough money to buy their kids a few essential items such as jeans and shoes just so they have fitting attire that they can wear to school in the new year. 

Christmas may be the elderly couple who's kids are all grown and to far away to come visit them this year. However they prepare like they always do, trees, lights and goodies in hopes to recreate what once was. 

Christmas may be the mom and dad that just had to bury their one year old baby due to a brain injury. While there other young kids not understanding that their brother is gone asks over and over where they are breaking their heart into a millions pieces again. 

Christmas may be the couple who have just had another round of IVF fail and every day when they go to their mail box they open yet another Christmas card filled with new baby after new baby.

Christmas may be month 7 of a 9 month deployment. Wishing with all your might you could just give your loved ones one hug and a I love you in person.

Christmas may be the agonizing days all alone when you wish you could be at work. You fill your life with work and solitude because you are so stubborn to let anyone in due to the hurt and baggage you never dealt with. 

Christmas may be the husband so worried over his wife's mental health he is doing everything possible to keep her alive through the holidays. 

In a season where tv, social media and society says it is the most wonderful time of the year it can sometimes feel like the exact opposite. To all those who are hurting this season and even to those who are not but more focused on the gifts they bought or will receive. Remember to stop, take a deep breath, we have all been there is some sort of fashion and remember the truth. 

Christmas is the result of a very young girl who traveled 9 months pregnant to endure non medicated labor in a barn filed with manure. Christmas is the birth of the one who died for all our sins so that we can one day not feel the pain of this world. Christmas is the most beautiful symbol of hope we can ever celebrate. And as corny as the saying "Jesus is the reason for the season" that sums up Christmas perfectly. 

Merry Christmas!!!

Monday, March 9, 2015

Dear Cora - 18 Months

The last six months have flown by and my have you changed. You are so incredibly smart, sweet and feisty at the same time. There is so much to say so I thought I would list out the top 18 things that I love that you do. In no particular order here goes:

- how you say I love you
- how you cackle like crazy when being tickled
- when you say oh my what happened
- how you love almost everyone you meet especially kids
- how you memorize veggie tales songs
 - you are an incredible sleeper and live your bed
- I love how you say hi mama 100 times a day
- you can peal apart your own cuties
- love the snow and ask to go outside
- how you talk to Bentley
- how you loveroutines
- you love reading and looking at books 
- you love your lovies I mean obsessed 
- you can be flexible
- you can follow direction 
- you are loving and teachable
- love taking baths 
- that you are mine and are so special 

I love you sweet girl and cherish every day with you. 
Love you to the moon and back. 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Dear Cora- 1 Year

It is now a couple weeks after your birthday and I have written your 12 month letter a few times but none of those drafts seemed quite appropriate. How do you put into words the last year of your life. How do you even express the love that I have for you sweet girl. You truly are  the greatest gift I have been given outside of the gift of the cross 

You are so smart sweet girl. You babble a mile a minute and can say a handful of words like mama, dada, baba, papa, and hi. You love to say hi to everyone and everything. 

You  are now walking everywhere and love to get into anything and everything. I laugh sometimes because all of a sudden this little mink is toddling around the corner. Unpacking a suitcase, drawer or any type of bag is your favorite pastime. I will say you are very fast and very good at it. I just need to teach you the other spectrum of unpacking. 

You are an incredible sleeper and you go to bed around 7:30-8:00pm and sleep till around 8:00am in the morning. We are so very lucky and blessed you love your bed so much. 

I stopped nursing a couple days before your birthday. I was so worried about the weaning process and in he midst of a crazy season in our life God totally worked it out and took all my anxiety and made the transition so smooth. The last couple times of nursing were so bittersweet but I tried to enjoy your closeness. I miss that somedays:). 

So sweet girl as you are now a year old my prayer for you is that you grow to love Jesus with all your heart and love others with that same intensity. 

Love you to the moon and back,


12 month Stats:
20.1oz 19.inches long
(50% for height and weight) 

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Dear Cora - 11 months

This month the realization that you will be one has hit me with a brick. I find myself remembering the last few weeks up to your birth and replaying the day you were born over and over into head. I so want time to stop and for you to stay just the way you are. My love for you grows more and more everyday. You have started to walk just a few steps at a time but I know that in the near future you will probably be in a all out run. You love food and whole milk  and are down to just nursing in the morning. Your favorite fruit right now is peaches and you love pancakes for breakfast. You can say ni ni, ba ba, da da, ma ma, pa pa, do a piggy sound, sniffy bunny, and elephant blow. You are so funny, have quite the attitude and super sweet. I love you to the moon and back little one. No matter what life will bring I will always be your biggest fan. 

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Dear Cora - 10 months

Oh Cora how are you 10 months old I seriously can not believe it. I feel like you 1 year old birthday is looming. You have had quite the busy month with a bunch of first including your first nasty cold. One thing I have noticed is that you love to imitate us and have learned how to sniff like a bunny, play patty cake, blow bubbles in the pool(no joke like real bubbles), give kisses, wave to everyone, walks along the couch, plays awesome by yourself and all in all you are a complete joy to be around. 

This month we went to the Greenbriar over the 4th of July and had a wonderful time. You did not want to have anything to do with your pack and play though so I broke every rule I ever set out for myself when it came to your night time routine. We got through it okay and seem to be back on schedule with your routine. 

I also decided this month that it was time to drop a feeding so we are two days into you only nursing 4 times. I am starting to worry about the weaning process but I know you will do fine and it is probably just me that will be more sad.

I love you sweet girl and can not imagine my life without you. I love you to the moon and back.

Love mama!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Dear Cora - 9 Months

My sweet sweet girl. I love you more than words can ever describe it's crazy how I love you more each day. This month you have really become a mama's girl. Your dad asks me all the time what I think about being wanted so much. Honestly I love it most of the time. We are not apart that often and when I am all I do is think about what you are doing. This last month was Mother's Day and it was oh so sweet having you here for that. I feel honored that I am your mama. My two favorite things you do right now is dance to any music that comes on and sometime we are playing on the floor you crawl over put your nose to mine and smile real big. There is nothing better than that. At your doctor appointment you were 18lbs 7oz and 27 inchs long. Dr Hill said you were just perfect and I could not agree more. 

I love you to the moon and back.