Double Dose

This is not an interesting post whatsoever and is mainly for me to remember and also to show my kids what I had to go through to get them. Yes I will probably be one of those parents. J

I was thinking about it last night and I would be really interested to see the amount of money we have spent just in 2012 trying to have a baby. I know that it is not near as much as some people because I do have insurance but it is probably a crazy amount.  People always tell you that having kids is expensive but I am putting it out there that if you cannot have a baby on your own and need help it is not free.

Anyhow, I am one week into my pills/shots and so far so good. When I started the shots on Saturday I had to give myself a little pep talk about why I needed to pull it together.  I am actually doubling my injections and I was really able to tell because going from 1 ml of the Bravelle to 2 ml burns a whole lot more.

Tomorrow is my next ultrasound and blood work and it is really a make or break it appointment. Please pray that I am good to go and this cycle is not canceled due to over stimulation   

The TTC Timeline

I have been noticing as of late that a few of the infertility blogs that I reed there is a button up in the top of their blog that says TTC timeline. For those of you lucky  blessed duckies who conceived right away TTC stands for trying to conceive. One day I will write a post on all the infertility/trying to conceive lingo. You probably would be shocked. I remember the first time I started coming across these abbreviations I was totally lost.  Anyhow, these TTC timeline are a separate page in your blog that basically lists out dates and or procedures/tests you have had  to endure while on this journey. I have many thoughts on this and since I have not quite been able to come to a conclusion on my opinion of this said timeline I thought I would express my thoughts in list form. 

1. Since we have been trying to have a baby for 15 months without success. It is these blogs that have allowed me to realize that there are others going through this exact same thing and I am not the only person on the planet. 
2. It makes be super aware that 15 months compared to women my age struggle with infertility is very minimal.
3. These timeline are very informative to those of us going through the same thing. It is nice to be able to know what to expect next and how long things take. 
4. I feel like for these women this is an acknowledgement of there struggle. I know sometimes when  life is happening all around you can feel lost and forgotten about. It seems to be a good way to be able to heal and reflect upon each milestone or date. 
5. At what point do you qualify for a timeline? Is that kind of weird but then super cool once you have a baby b/c that will always be there to remind you of what you went through?
6. What if that is just being overly obsessive? I guess who cares I blog for many different reasons all personal to me and no one has to read your blog.

When I decided last year to just be real and use this blog as a healing tool I decided that if could help even just one person not feel alone and approach me about miscarriage or infertility then it was all worth it. I want to be an open book and my dream is one day weather that is in a year or twenty to partner alongside a ministry or start my own support group for women dealing with infertility right here in CU.  So here is my TTC timeline in post form not page  or button form. 

Spring 1999 - Luke and I meet - I go home and tell my mom I have found the guy I am going to marry and one day have his babies. (yep pretty weird considering I was in eighth grade)

June 2004 - Luke and I start dating and he tells me we are on the five year plan before marriage

July 2008 - We get engaged finally

May 9,2009 - Married (All most five years to the day we start dating.  Agree to the 5 year plan about having babies)

November 2009 - Throw that birth control out the window they make me crazy. Not trying for kids at all.

May 2010 - 1 year anniversary (I throw the 5 year plan out the window and have baby fever but Luke not so much)

Jan 2011 - Not trying but not preventing, start charting

May 2011 - Start trying (start peeing on OPK tests) Bad Cyst this month on ovary

June 2011 - WE GET PREGNANT THIS MONTH

July 2011 - Miscarriage

August - November - Temping, charting, timing, gave up pop, another cysts bursts, hot flashes, crazy cycles, using progesterone.

December 2011 - Diagnosed with hyperthyroidism start meds. 

February 2012 - Mister gets tested and gets some poor results.

March 2012 -  Mister retests and gets good results see doctor. Doctor says if not pregnant again by may to come back. 

April 2012 - Freak out I am miscarrying again go see doctor and multiple blood tests, internal & external ultrasounds yuck.

May 2012 - 1st Reproductive Medicine appointment. He reviews my tests and says he thinks it is endometrosis. Schedule Laporoscopy.

June 2012 - Start the 24 pill a day routine of Shaklee just as one last ditch effort before surgery.

July 2012 - Lap Surgery - Endo found and removed, blocked tube, fibroid on uterus(not big so was left alone), some sort of mass type thing on another tube that was acting like a weight removed.  

I have said it before and I will say it again, hope is a powerful thing. Here's to hoping (and praying) this list stays small. And even though I am not sure who reads this silly blog if you ever need a ear I would be glad to listen. :)

One Year Ago.....

One year ago today at around 11:00am I found out I was pregnant. We had just got back from Arkansas the night before and Luke had left a few days before me to head up to Peoria to tile his mom’s floor. I had woken up that morning and thought it was strange that I was a week and a half late aside from a tiny bit of spotting about a week before.  We had just started trying the month before and so I really in no way thought I could be pregnant. I also had had a cyst that I knew about and honestly thought that was probably the problem.  

I just decided I was going to take the plunge and take a test.  I peed on the stick left it in the bathroom and kind of forgot about it for the next hour b/c I was doing laundry. When I finally remembered I ran back in the bathroom to see a blazing positive. Talk about completely shocked. I honestly did not believe it so I ended up peeing on another and it was positive again. Still thinking that this could not be correct I ran to Wal-Mart to get another brand just to check it out.

Sure enough that one was positive. I started really freaking out and at that point decided I better call Luke. I really did not want to have to tell him over the phone but he was not supposed to be back till the next day and there was no way I was going to be able to wait. When I told him I know he was surprised at just how fertile we both were.

Crazy what can happen in a year. I remember thinking after I miscarried that I surely would get pregnant within a few months b/c I had gotten pregnant so fast the first time. Little did I know? However Luke and I both agreed that even though we would not wish for anything different we have both grown a ton. My surgery is a week from this Wednesday so all prayers would be appreciated.