I had a really hard day today. I think after my appointment yesterday the fear and dread really set in. I am afraid of letting myself have hope that this next cycle may work because if it does not I will be devastated again. I am afraid of my meds and shots and the way they make me feel. As crazy as this sounds I am also afraid of getting pregnant again because what if I miscarry.
Luke and I went to the gym tonight and I had a really good workout but probably pushed myself way to hard. I just kept thinking how by pushing myself to run I was able to control something in my life. Infertility is so far out of my control that I feel at a lost most of the time.
No matter how afraid and out of control i feel IUI cycle #2 has officially started. I am going to try and just focus on getting through each day one at a time.
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