Grapefruit Ovaries

I have really not blogged about our infertility journey in a long time in hopes that the next time I posted I could share great great news. It is funny most people who get pregnant wait to tell until they are through their first trimester. When you get to the point where you are seeing a RE. having surgeries, taking gobs of medicine, injecting your self all the time in the stomach, doing progesterone suppositories and having many many doctor appointments and procedures the "not telling" is kind of thrown out the window. Everyone already knows you are trying and it is kind of awkward to not talk about b/c infertility is the biggest thing going on in your life. Maybe some people are way better than I am but if someone asks whats been going on I am not going to lie. I need people to pray for me all the time and if those who care about me do not know how can they do that. 

Right now I am one week into my 2WW following our first IUI. I really feel great physically but do not think that it worked. Maybe you never think it works when it has not for so long. The beginning of this cycle was sort of rough. They put me on this little white pill days 2-6  that gave me horrible migraines. Then days 6-13 I had to give myself injections at night. Thankfully those did not give me  as many headaches but it still freaked me out a little. The only thing that those did to me was make my ovaries hurt and grow like crazy. I felt like I had grapefruits for ovaries and they were being squeezed to death,weird I know but that is the only way to describe it. In-between that I had 4 blood draws and two internal ultrasounds  which are not my favorite.  Last Friday I had my IUI  done and after the procedure the P.A. said that this cycle was probably a bust. Dumb lady who tells an infertile girl who has been shooting themselves up with hormones that has grapefruit ovaries that this cycle is probably a bust. 

So that leaves me to today. I have had zero pregnancy symptoms yet. Supposedly on progesterone you are supposed to have tons of  fake pregnancy symptoms and I do not have even one. I have more symptoms on cycles that we have done naturally than this one. I am positive that this cycle did not work and I can not quite figure out how I feel about that. Kind of just wish it would get over already so we can move one. The plan going forward is to take a cycle off then do IUI#2 if that does not work take another cycle off do IUI#3 and if that does not work then I will have one more rest cycle before heading straight to  phase 3 which is IVF. I really hope it does not get to that point. I for one do not want to have to wait for another six months to move to the next  plan but also I am sure the meds and injections really ramp up for a IVF.

At the end of the day the reality is I am still thankful for the blessings in my life and I need to keep that at the forefront of my mind at all times. 

Drugged

I got the flu shot last Tuesday and even though I was super hesitant I went ahead with it. By Tuesday evening I had a scratchy throat and by the weekend I had a full on miserable cold. I am sure it was just coincidence that I got sick but the timing was really funny.

 Sunday night Luke coughed/ snored extremely loudly all night long. I knew he was going to wake up and be miserable. He did and me being the awesome wife that I was got up right away and hunted out some cold medicine for him to take so that he would be able to function at work. He called me around 9:00am and asked me what I had given him because he felt like he had been drugged and could not keep his eyes open. I was not positive but I thought it was just Dayquil.

When I got home that night he told me he was just feeling like he was getting out of the fog I had supposedly put him in. I checked the medicine drawer and pulled out the pills it was NYQUIL not DAYQUIL. I laughed out loud and then felt bad for him. Honestly he probably should not even have been driving yesterday. In my defense I did not have my contacts on yesterday morning when I went looking for meds. Funny thing was this morning he was a little hesitant to take any medicine from me without reading the label first. 

Update in Pictures

 I have done a terrible job blogging as of late. I will blame it on being so busy with swimming. I finally downloaded the last few months of pictures from my camera onto my computer. Below is a few pictures about what we have been up to this summer/fall. 

New stamped concrete porch.

BROKEN IPHONE  :(

Met this little sweetie in September!

SKUNK!! He fell down our window well and had to be "rescued".

Went to Vegas in October and Luke and Matt met Zack Galifiankis.

Lemon Cookie Review

Laura and I made the best lemon cookies on Tuesday night. We had both pinned the same lemon cookie recipe from pinterest and so we had to try them. The really nice thing about this recipe is that they only take about 10 minutes to mix up and about 10 min to bake. There is no dough chilling or wacky Ingredients involved. So if you are needing a little lemon fix this is a very yummy and easy cookie to make. Only downfall is that they turned out to be bite size and it was super easy to eat three or four without any thought.

FACEBOOK = UNFRIENDED

I think that after today I need to go on a Facebook hiatus for maybe the rest of my life. For an infertile gal who literally would give the shirt off her back for a baby, Facebook is the devil. You know the saying "everyone is pregnant" well if you ever get on Facebook that could not be a truer statement. I swear people left and right are getting knocked up and my favorite are those that get pregnant on their honeymoon or how about those that get pregnant months before their wedding on"accident". Facebook promises to deliver prego's of all shapes and sizes, ages

and backgrounds. Facebook promises that the first thing you see when you login is a prego complaining about how she is sick and thinks that being that way while she is prego is so unfair. At least when these people people post such ridiculous things Facebook allows the ability of "retaliation" in comments. 

Facebook, you know how people post bare belly pictures or their intelligender test(which is their pee in a cup).  Well that should be flagged and reported. Seriously Facebook that is way more offensive then a bare baby's butt. Right now Facebook is not a "face" I want to see or a book I want to read.

Facebook right now you need to unfriended!

The Promise

My grandma Mary went to see Jesus last Thursday August 30^th at 9:50pm. The weekend was filled with the visitation, funeral and burial.  Ironically this Labor Day weekend last year was the weekend my parents were poisoned with CO2 and almost died. By yesterday everyone was physically and emotionally worn out. And all of us were determined that next Labor Day weekend was going to be a better one.  

During grandma’s funeral on Saturday we played a video of her being interviewed on her 82^nd birthday by my Aunts. They asked her a bunch of light hearted questions like what her favorite song was, favorite actor, favorite pastime, who her best friend’s were ect.  Then the questions turned to Deal or No Deal scenarios. They asked her if she liked war, believed in abortion, condoned in divorce and if she supported Chief Illini.  There were many questions regarding the first time she met my grandfather, what her hopes and dreams were and how many kids she wanted to have.

There were two questions they asked her that really spoke to me. The first was how many kids she wanted to have, I will post about this later. The second question was if she was afraid of dying?  She quickly responded no and then proceeded to say that God had given us a Promise of a place that we cannot ever imagine. She was not worried if she was going to be bored, what she was going to look like or what she was going to eat.  She was not afraid of when that time came because it was not up to her. She was just choosing to accept The Promise that God had given her.  

John 14:2-4

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going."

Been awhile.....

Can not believe it has been a month since I have posted. So many things have been jammed packed in this month you would think I would be blogging my heart out. Funny that even though this is the case I have not felt like I have had much to say. 

Swimming started August 8th and we are in full swing now. We do not have a very big team only two freshman but it is really a great group of girls. Today is actually our first meet against Centennial so that is pretty exciting. I am excited to see how the girl's will swim today. 

My sister Meg both moved back to school a week and a half ago and Erica and Zak moved back to Wisconsin on Saturday. We had a really great summer together and I am constantly oping and praying one day we will all live in the same town. Right now that does not really look like it will happen but you never know. 

My grandma Mary has not been doing so well. She was put on Hospice last Thursday. We went and saw her Thursday night and right before we were leaving she woke up for the first time in 24 hours and was able to kiss us all and tell us she loved us. That was a huge blessing and something I will always cherish. Since Thursday she has not woken up and we are just praying everyday that she will go to heaven soon and be reunited with her mom, dad, brother and husband.

Luke and I are good we have been enjoying this summer and we are looking forward to a lot of three day trips for weddings. Between adult small groups, high school small groups, worship team, swimming and work we will be really busy this fall but it is a good busy. We finally made the decision to bite the bullet and purchase a Toyota Highlander. I absolutely  love it. I was so worried it would feel like riding around in a truck but it is not like that at all. 

We are still in pursuit of the baby train. I try to stay positive but it is so hard. Denial has really been my friend regarding that issue lately because if not I just cry. 

Goal for September: Blog twice a week once about a project and once for Thursday Latelies.