Tales from the RE's office

I was sitting in the reproductive medicines office this morning waiting to be called back when in walks a couple in their late 30’s and a gentleman.

The gentleman looks around obviously very uncomfortable and goes up to the counter. He stated his name and that he was there for a semen analysis. As he took a seat I could tell that he was dreading the event that was to follow. I just felt plain bad for him. Not soon after a nurse called him back and instructed him to pick up a little blue cup and label on the way through the door. I know he just wanted to melt away.

This left me and the other couple in the room. When they realized it was just the three of us the women looks over to me and gives me a small smile. They sit there in silence not even saying anything to one another. You could tell that they have never been here before and were super nervous. I am sure they were dreading walking back to the Dr’s office only to have to confess that they needed help.

I am certainly no pro and compared to some have not spent years coming back to the same waiting room but it certainly gets a lot easier. I can now walk in there confidently and not feel like I am going to throw up. I counted it up and I have been there 11 times in the last 2 months for different blood tests, procedures or appointments. The girl at the front now knows my name and just checks me right in. I absolutely love the lady who takes my blood.  I feel like we could be best friends even though we have only spent a total of 15 minutes together combined.

And last but no least I leave you with a picture of me hanging out with my feet up just waiting to be given the go ahead to head on home. Oh the things you will do for a baby J

Double Dose

This is not an interesting post whatsoever and is mainly for me to remember and also to show my kids what I had to go through to get them. Yes I will probably be one of those parents. J

I was thinking about it last night and I would be really interested to see the amount of money we have spent just in 2012 trying to have a baby. I know that it is not near as much as some people because I do have insurance but it is probably a crazy amount.  People always tell you that having kids is expensive but I am putting it out there that if you cannot have a baby on your own and need help it is not free.

Anyhow, I am one week into my pills/shots and so far so good. When I started the shots on Saturday I had to give myself a little pep talk about why I needed to pull it together.  I am actually doubling my injections and I was really able to tell because going from 1 ml of the Bravelle to 2 ml burns a whole lot more.

Tomorrow is my next ultrasound and blood work and it is really a make or break it appointment. Please pray that I am good to go and this cycle is not canceled due to over stimulation   

Not quite like Chris church mouse....

When I was little we used to read the stories of Christopher Curchmouse by Barbara Davoll?
They are really cute books and some of my favorite. With that said a mouse in a story is very different than a live mouse.

A few weeks ago I noticed that I may have a very unwelcome mouse friend making house in my basement. In the 2.5 years we have lived at IRA this has never been a problem until now. I freaked out and went on a cleaning frenzy because let's be honest little mouse poop is so disgusting.

I went out right away and bought some standard mouse traps and put a little peanut butter in the middle. Weeks went by and nothing and I assumed that my mouse friend had decided that he wanted to make house elsewhere. Life was good until last Saturday while putting up the rest of my Christmas decor I find a little mouse poop once again.

If it was not for getting into HUGE trouble with my husband I probably would have given every item that resides in the basement away because of how grossed out I am by this mouse. After getting over my disgust and fear I headed back out to the store to get some more traps. I ended up with the sticky glue pads.

Monday night we set all six of  them out all around the base of the basement. Nothing happened until last night when I made Luke go and check. He calls me downstairs right away claiming that one of the pads was all the way across the room upside down and stuck to the rug.

Basically we have GI JO mouse on our hands people because the little sucker must have got stuck freaked out and then decided he was going to win. He must have chewed his way free because we found clumps of mouse hair and poop all around where the sticky pad was stuck to the carpet. If you are thinking that the sticky pads must have not been sticky enough I will challenge you to go buy one stick it on your rug and then try and pull it off. I wish I would have taken a picture because the sight was really just unbelievable.

At this point it is mouse 2, Stephanie & Luke 0. However we set out some more snap traps so I just hope little mouse enjoys his last few days because I am not giving up no matter what it takes. 

One day at a time

I had a really hard day today. I think after my appointment yesterday the fear and dread really set in. I am afraid of letting myself have hope that this next cycle may work because if it does not I will be devastated again. I am afraid of my meds and shots and the way they make me feel. As crazy as this sounds I am also afraid of getting pregnant again because what if I miscarry.

Luke and I went to the gym tonight and I had a really good workout but probably pushed myself way to hard. I just kept thinking how by pushing myself to run I was able to control something in my life. Infertility is so far out of my control that I feel at a lost most of the time.

No matter how afraid and out of control i feel IUI cycle #2 has officially started. I am going to try and just focus on getting through each day one at a time.

The BEST

We had our banquet tonight and it was so much fun. I am reminded daily when I am around these girls just how blessed I am. They are a great group of girls really the best.  Here is all of us.

The best part of the night was my rap performed by Maddie featuring Leah and Audrey.

Very long Vlog update

Trick or Treat

For the last few years I have wanted to take pictures of the trick or treaters that come to my door because some of them are so funny. I however do not because I am sure the parents would think that was creepy. So instead of pictures here is who I had ring my doorbell tonight.

• 5 middle school boys that as I was pulling into my garage and getting out of my car they ambush me saying trick or treat. I was not even all the way out of my car so I told them I did not have any candy. The one kid then asked my if he could have my gas can instead. Not sure what he wanted to do with that but I told him no and said if they would hang tight another 15 minutes then people will start turning their lights on and then they can start ringing doorbells. We actually ended up arguing about what time trick or treating started. Not sure why I was arguing with the kid except that most junior high boys annoy me. 
• Scary 5 year old Zombie. I open the door and the first thing he says to me is "two kit kats"" He must have really loved those because he forgot to say trick or treat. 
• 3 year old cute sparkle witch. It was her first time and she took like 8 pieces of candy. She was so cute i did not stop her but finally her mom gets her to stop and she decides she needs to come in for a little visit. She barrels right past me and right into the kitchen. The mom was mortified and said, she keeps going into peoples houses. I thought it was quite funny.
• Wizard or a least that is what I thought he was and S.W.A.T. Boy  - This was really funny because he had the entire getup. These kids forget what they say most just stand their and don't say a word.
• 2 high school girls all in black and one had a pair of wings on. Where are the itties at?
• Spider man & Strawberry shortcake. These two were the cutest and friendliest so far.

1% Chance

Ever since I met Luke he has wanted to name his first son Lucas James Sherman. I have always said absolutely no because that is just weird to name your kid the same name as your hubby (sorry to those that did) it is just not done anymore. I can not even imagine what our friends and family would say. Don’t get me wrong it is a great name but not something I want to do at all. You would not believe how many times that this conversation has come up and we actually have had fights over this issue. I say no every time and Luke says yes, it is a no win situation.

Last night we were talking about babies and I must have had a momentary lapse of judgment because I say “If we get pregnant this month and have twins and one is a boy then you can name it Lucas James and I will name the other one”. Now I know the probability is really slim and I did put a time limit on this statement but I said it.  I guess I probably have a 1% chance that I may have to follow through on through on this promise. Who knows what I will say next month, I need a filter! 

Grapefruit Ovaries

I have really not blogged about our infertility journey in a long time in hopes that the next time I posted I could share great great news. It is funny most people who get pregnant wait to tell until they are through their first trimester. When you get to the point where you are seeing a RE. having surgeries, taking gobs of medicine, injecting your self all the time in the stomach, doing progesterone suppositories and having many many doctor appointments and procedures the "not telling" is kind of thrown out the window. Everyone already knows you are trying and it is kind of awkward to not talk about b/c infertility is the biggest thing going on in your life. Maybe some people are way better than I am but if someone asks whats been going on I am not going to lie. I need people to pray for me all the time and if those who care about me do not know how can they do that. 

Right now I am one week into my 2WW following our first IUI. I really feel great physically but do not think that it worked. Maybe you never think it works when it has not for so long. The beginning of this cycle was sort of rough. They put me on this little white pill days 2-6  that gave me horrible migraines. Then days 6-13 I had to give myself injections at night. Thankfully those did not give me  as many headaches but it still freaked me out a little. The only thing that those did to me was make my ovaries hurt and grow like crazy. I felt like I had grapefruits for ovaries and they were being squeezed to death,weird I know but that is the only way to describe it. In-between that I had 4 blood draws and two internal ultrasounds  which are not my favorite.  Last Friday I had my IUI  done and after the procedure the P.A. said that this cycle was probably a bust. Dumb lady who tells an infertile girl who has been shooting themselves up with hormones that has grapefruit ovaries that this cycle is probably a bust. 

So that leaves me to today. I have had zero pregnancy symptoms yet. Supposedly on progesterone you are supposed to have tons of  fake pregnancy symptoms and I do not have even one. I have more symptoms on cycles that we have done naturally than this one. I am positive that this cycle did not work and I can not quite figure out how I feel about that. Kind of just wish it would get over already so we can move one. The plan going forward is to take a cycle off then do IUI#2 if that does not work take another cycle off do IUI#3 and if that does not work then I will have one more rest cycle before heading straight to  phase 3 which is IVF. I really hope it does not get to that point. I for one do not want to have to wait for another six months to move to the next  plan but also I am sure the meds and injections really ramp up for a IVF.

At the end of the day the reality is I am still thankful for the blessings in my life and I need to keep that at the forefront of my mind at all times. 

Drugged

I got the flu shot last Tuesday and even though I was super hesitant I went ahead with it. By Tuesday evening I had a scratchy throat and by the weekend I had a full on miserable cold. I am sure it was just coincidence that I got sick but the timing was really funny.

 Sunday night Luke coughed/ snored extremely loudly all night long. I knew he was going to wake up and be miserable. He did and me being the awesome wife that I was got up right away and hunted out some cold medicine for him to take so that he would be able to function at work. He called me around 9:00am and asked me what I had given him because he felt like he had been drugged and could not keep his eyes open. I was not positive but I thought it was just Dayquil.

When I got home that night he told me he was just feeling like he was getting out of the fog I had supposedly put him in. I checked the medicine drawer and pulled out the pills it was NYQUIL not DAYQUIL. I laughed out loud and then felt bad for him. Honestly he probably should not even have been driving yesterday. In my defense I did not have my contacts on yesterday morning when I went looking for meds. Funny thing was this morning he was a little hesitant to take any medicine from me without reading the label first. 

Update in Pictures

 I have done a terrible job blogging as of late. I will blame it on being so busy with swimming. I finally downloaded the last few months of pictures from my camera onto my computer. Below is a few pictures about what we have been up to this summer/fall. 

New stamped concrete porch.

BROKEN IPHONE  :(

Met this little sweetie in September!

SKUNK!! He fell down our window well and had to be "rescued".

Went to Vegas in October and Luke and Matt met Zack Galifiankis.

Lemon Cookie Review

Laura and I made the best lemon cookies on Tuesday night. We had both pinned the same lemon cookie recipe from pinterest and so we had to try them. The really nice thing about this recipe is that they only take about 10 minutes to mix up and about 10 min to bake. There is no dough chilling or wacky Ingredients involved. So if you are needing a little lemon fix this is a very yummy and easy cookie to make. Only downfall is that they turned out to be bite size and it was super easy to eat three or four without any thought.

FACEBOOK = UNFRIENDED

I think that after today I need to go on a Facebook hiatus for maybe the rest of my life. For an infertile gal who literally would give the shirt off her back for a baby, Facebook is the devil. You know the saying "everyone is pregnant" well if you ever get on Facebook that could not be a truer statement. I swear people left and right are getting knocked up and my favorite are those that get pregnant on their honeymoon or how about those that get pregnant months before their wedding on"accident". Facebook promises to deliver prego's of all shapes and sizes, ages

and backgrounds. Facebook promises that the first thing you see when you login is a prego complaining about how she is sick and thinks that being that way while she is prego is so unfair. At least when these people people post such ridiculous things Facebook allows the ability of "retaliation" in comments. 

Facebook, you know how people post bare belly pictures or their intelligender test(which is their pee in a cup).  Well that should be flagged and reported. Seriously Facebook that is way more offensive then a bare baby's butt. Right now Facebook is not a "face" I want to see or a book I want to read.

Facebook right now you need to unfriended!

The Promise

My grandma Mary went to see Jesus last Thursday August 30^th at 9:50pm. The weekend was filled with the visitation, funeral and burial.  Ironically this Labor Day weekend last year was the weekend my parents were poisoned with CO2 and almost died. By yesterday everyone was physically and emotionally worn out. And all of us were determined that next Labor Day weekend was going to be a better one.  

During grandma’s funeral on Saturday we played a video of her being interviewed on her 82^nd birthday by my Aunts. They asked her a bunch of light hearted questions like what her favorite song was, favorite actor, favorite pastime, who her best friend’s were ect.  Then the questions turned to Deal or No Deal scenarios. They asked her if she liked war, believed in abortion, condoned in divorce and if she supported Chief Illini.  There were many questions regarding the first time she met my grandfather, what her hopes and dreams were and how many kids she wanted to have.

There were two questions they asked her that really spoke to me. The first was how many kids she wanted to have, I will post about this later. The second question was if she was afraid of dying?  She quickly responded no and then proceeded to say that God had given us a Promise of a place that we cannot ever imagine. She was not worried if she was going to be bored, what she was going to look like or what she was going to eat.  She was not afraid of when that time came because it was not up to her. She was just choosing to accept The Promise that God had given her.  

John 14:2-4

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going."

Been awhile.....

Can not believe it has been a month since I have posted. So many things have been jammed packed in this month you would think I would be blogging my heart out. Funny that even though this is the case I have not felt like I have had much to say. 

Swimming started August 8th and we are in full swing now. We do not have a very big team only two freshman but it is really a great group of girls. Today is actually our first meet against Centennial so that is pretty exciting. I am excited to see how the girl's will swim today. 

My sister Meg both moved back to school a week and a half ago and Erica and Zak moved back to Wisconsin on Saturday. We had a really great summer together and I am constantly oping and praying one day we will all live in the same town. Right now that does not really look like it will happen but you never know. 

My grandma Mary has not been doing so well. She was put on Hospice last Thursday. We went and saw her Thursday night and right before we were leaving she woke up for the first time in 24 hours and was able to kiss us all and tell us she loved us. That was a huge blessing and something I will always cherish. Since Thursday she has not woken up and we are just praying everyday that she will go to heaven soon and be reunited with her mom, dad, brother and husband.

Luke and I are good we have been enjoying this summer and we are looking forward to a lot of three day trips for weddings. Between adult small groups, high school small groups, worship team, swimming and work we will be really busy this fall but it is a good busy. We finally made the decision to bite the bullet and purchase a Toyota Highlander. I absolutely  love it. I was so worried it would feel like riding around in a truck but it is not like that at all. 

We are still in pursuit of the baby train. I try to stay positive but it is so hard. Denial has really been my friend regarding that issue lately because if not I just cry. 

Goal for September: Blog twice a week once about a project and once for Thursday Latelies. 

The TTC Timeline

I have been noticing as of late that a few of the infertility blogs that I reed there is a button up in the top of their blog that says TTC timeline. For those of you lucky  blessed duckies who conceived right away TTC stands for trying to conceive. One day I will write a post on all the infertility/trying to conceive lingo. You probably would be shocked. I remember the first time I started coming across these abbreviations I was totally lost.  Anyhow, these TTC timeline are a separate page in your blog that basically lists out dates and or procedures/tests you have had  to endure while on this journey. I have many thoughts on this and since I have not quite been able to come to a conclusion on my opinion of this said timeline I thought I would express my thoughts in list form. 

1. Since we have been trying to have a baby for 15 months without success. It is these blogs that have allowed me to realize that there are others going through this exact same thing and I am not the only person on the planet. 
2. It makes be super aware that 15 months compared to women my age struggle with infertility is very minimal.
3. These timeline are very informative to those of us going through the same thing. It is nice to be able to know what to expect next and how long things take. 
4. I feel like for these women this is an acknowledgement of there struggle. I know sometimes when  life is happening all around you can feel lost and forgotten about. It seems to be a good way to be able to heal and reflect upon each milestone or date. 
5. At what point do you qualify for a timeline? Is that kind of weird but then super cool once you have a baby b/c that will always be there to remind you of what you went through?
6. What if that is just being overly obsessive? I guess who cares I blog for many different reasons all personal to me and no one has to read your blog.

When I decided last year to just be real and use this blog as a healing tool I decided that if could help even just one person not feel alone and approach me about miscarriage or infertility then it was all worth it. I want to be an open book and my dream is one day weather that is in a year or twenty to partner alongside a ministry or start my own support group for women dealing with infertility right here in CU.  So here is my TTC timeline in post form not page  or button form. 

Spring 1999 - Luke and I meet - I go home and tell my mom I have found the guy I am going to marry and one day have his babies. (yep pretty weird considering I was in eighth grade)

June 2004 - Luke and I start dating and he tells me we are on the five year plan before marriage

July 2008 - We get engaged finally

May 9,2009 - Married (All most five years to the day we start dating.  Agree to the 5 year plan about having babies)

November 2009 - Throw that birth control out the window they make me crazy. Not trying for kids at all.

May 2010 - 1 year anniversary (I throw the 5 year plan out the window and have baby fever but Luke not so much)

Jan 2011 - Not trying but not preventing, start charting

May 2011 - Start trying (start peeing on OPK tests) Bad Cyst this month on ovary

June 2011 - WE GET PREGNANT THIS MONTH

July 2011 - Miscarriage

August - November - Temping, charting, timing, gave up pop, another cysts bursts, hot flashes, crazy cycles, using progesterone.

December 2011 - Diagnosed with hyperthyroidism start meds. 

February 2012 - Mister gets tested and gets some poor results.

March 2012 -  Mister retests and gets good results see doctor. Doctor says if not pregnant again by may to come back. 

April 2012 - Freak out I am miscarrying again go see doctor and multiple blood tests, internal & external ultrasounds yuck.

May 2012 - 1st Reproductive Medicine appointment. He reviews my tests and says he thinks it is endometrosis. Schedule Laporoscopy.

June 2012 - Start the 24 pill a day routine of Shaklee just as one last ditch effort before surgery.

July 2012 - Lap Surgery - Endo found and removed, blocked tube, fibroid on uterus(not big so was left alone), some sort of mass type thing on another tube that was acting like a weight removed.  

I have said it before and I will say it again, hope is a powerful thing. Here's to hoping (and praying) this list stays small. And even though I am not sure who reads this silly blog if you ever need a ear I would be glad to listen. :)

E is for Ellery

I have wanted to post this for a few days but was waiting until Laura made the official announcement on her blog. My best friend just had her baby. Ellery Wynn was born in the wee hours of the morning Saturday. Her poor mama was put through quite a marathon birth. I know I am probably a little biased but this baby is probably one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. I am not even joking. 

It has stunk big time to be so far away the last few days. Every time I get a new picture of this sweet babe I just wish I could smooch her cheeks. 

I have had a lot of friends have babies and i have been super excited for them but this time it is just  extra special. I am already counting down the days I get to head down to Texas to meet this sweet girl and see her mama (Andrew, I am excited to see you 2). 

Lap Check

Wednesday I had my laporscopic surgery and it really could not have gone any better. I did have endometrosis removed as well as a blocked tube and another mass cut out. The doctor numerous times throughout the video of the surgery said that all these things made complete sense as to why I was having trouble getting pregnant. Dr. Jarrett said that he would give us three to four months to get pregnant on our own and if nothing happens we will get aggressive with the next step. 

It is a wonderful feeling to have answers and to also feel like we get to start with a clean slate. Last July I was not a very happy camper and  this July even though I am in a little pain I am hopeful. Here's to hoping next July I will be posting a picture of a beautiful little babe of my own. Thanks to all of you who prayed and have checked in on me the last few days.

One Year Ago.....

One year ago today at around 11:00am I found out I was pregnant. We had just got back from Arkansas the night before and Luke had left a few days before me to head up to Peoria to tile his mom’s floor. I had woken up that morning and thought it was strange that I was a week and a half late aside from a tiny bit of spotting about a week before.  We had just started trying the month before and so I really in no way thought I could be pregnant. I also had had a cyst that I knew about and honestly thought that was probably the problem.  

I just decided I was going to take the plunge and take a test.  I peed on the stick left it in the bathroom and kind of forgot about it for the next hour b/c I was doing laundry. When I finally remembered I ran back in the bathroom to see a blazing positive. Talk about completely shocked. I honestly did not believe it so I ended up peeing on another and it was positive again. Still thinking that this could not be correct I ran to Wal-Mart to get another brand just to check it out.

Sure enough that one was positive. I started really freaking out and at that point decided I better call Luke. I really did not want to have to tell him over the phone but he was not supposed to be back till the next day and there was no way I was going to be able to wait. When I told him I know he was surprised at just how fertile we both were.

Crazy what can happen in a year. I remember thinking after I miscarried that I surely would get pregnant within a few months b/c I had gotten pregnant so fast the first time. Little did I know? However Luke and I both agreed that even though we would not wish for anything different we have both grown a ton. My surgery is a week from this Wednesday so all prayers would be appreciated.

Family Car Vs. Fun Car Part 2

Sunday after church we drove around to every other dealership in town trying to just get a feel for what else is out there. We realized Saturday night that until we actually decide what we want it is going to be hard to pick something out. Don't get me wrong I always know what I want and could have had a perfect option bought and in the garage by now but when the debate of family vs fun is still going on it makes it a little difficult.

We both had decided that probably sticking around the $30,000.00 range made us feel a lot more comfortable. But let me tell you that is hard if you are looking for a midsize SUV unless you want to to buy a car with a ton of miles already on it. 

Here is what we deducted after Sundays little outing for the Family car:

1. Mazda CX-7 (5 seats and around $25,000 - $27,000 brand new) We liked the CX-9 but we were talking an extra 10 grand for the 3 seats and just not what we were wanting to spend.
2. Nissan Murano - Sharp looking car but only 5 seats and upward of $43,000.00 for more base models dollars. Rather have a Buick Enclave or Highlander for that type of money b/c you get more seats. The Rogue just seemed to small.
3. Hyundai Santa Fe: Not bad but would rather have the Toyota Highlander it would last longer.
4. Honda CR-V - Have heard great things but just not our favorite.

And of course we looked at a few more BMW's and a Mercedes that were a little older and few more miles (2008 - 2009 range) that brought their price under our $30,000.00 bench mark.

Monday morning rolls around with still no decision. We feel like we have decently looked at most of our options and so now it is time to sit down and make a decisions.  Luke calls me multiple times that day first starting out with let's just buy a cheap car something that will get us around like a 4 or 5 year old fusion (hello that is what we are giving away remember) or a few year old Hyundai. Can you believe this I was thinking all along that we had two categories, decided on a budget and now a new wrench in the plan.

Anyhow by the end of the day I say let's just do the BMW.  You have always wanted one, you work hard and long hours, we do not have kids yet, we are not over extended on our house and have to have the money for when we have to have that family car so let's just cross this off your bucket list.

He agree's and we spend Monday night testing out a few BMW's. Funny thing is even the salesman after talking to us for awhile was advising us on getting something like the Toyota Venza because it really did make since for what our plans were in the future. 

Day 2 & 3: Family Car 0 vs Fun Car 0

Family Car Vs. Fun Car Part 1

So we are officially shopping for a new car as of Saturday afternoon. We are giving our car to some family friends and so the pressure is now on to find another car so Luke can get to work.

Honestly I could probably give him my car and bum rides to work or bike because work is less then 2 miles away. As I was walking this morning with Jennifer I realized just how blessed we are to have two cars. Jennifer was telling me when her and Don were first married they shared one car. I believe this is what my parents did as well while my mom was still in school. Get this when my Nanny and Papaw were first expecting my Aunt Terry they did not even own a car and they  did not have a phone. So when my Nanny went into labor they had to go and borrow a phone to call for a ride. Can you even imagine?


Anyhow Saturday afternoon we went out to start our search for a new car. If you know my husband anytime we are shopping for anything over $100.00 his anxiety level rises to new levels. The funny thing is this may be the first time that he was actually excited about shopping. He may have had a warped idea of how much cars cost but excited nonetheless. As we pulled into O'Brien the big debate began. 

Family Car Vs. Fun Car

You would tend to have thought that my hubby would have been on the practical side airing towards the family car option but if you guessed that you guessed wrong. Yep my husband who when we were putting our first offer on a house on Springfield (which we did not get) was laying on the ground in the realtor office trying to not hyperventilate over buying something that cost over a hundred thousand dollars. Wish I could have caught that moment on tape it would have been a keeper for sure.

Luke has been eyeing this little beauty for some time in OBriens car lot. Here are the stats:  USED2011 BMW 3 Series Automatic in Black on Black 24,000 miles (Sticker Price:$37,995.00)

I am not going to lie to you I would not be opposed to bopping around town in this little number but the back seat is pretty small and we do not need this new or this expensive of a car that is really just for fun.

The next option was the family car. Stats: USED 2010 Toyota Highlander fully loaded black with tan leather 26,000 miles (Sticker Price: $37,995.00)

This car really is a great car it can seat up to 8 people so we can start popping out the kids or have twins and be fine. However when we went over to look at the new ones you could basically get the same thing for just a few thousand dollars more. The problem was this would put us around $44,000.00 once tax, title and license fees were done. 

We left really wanting both things but feeling like the FUN car was not practical and the FAMILY car was just a lot of money to spend on something that only lasts 5-10 years. 

After Saturday the stats were Family Car 0 - Fun Car 0

Thursday Latlies: Recorded Yesterday

100th POST

I needed something super exciting to post about for my 100th post. I thought long and hard and kept hoping something really extraordinary would happen to me. You know like win a million dollars so I could rent a private jet to fly me and all my friends to Hawaii for two weeks. Or be able to wake up and have a maid come clean my house and do the 100  loads of laundry that need done. Learn how to speak another language or even to be able to just have a photogenic memory kind of like the gal in Unforgettable.  How about be able to have hair like Carrie Underwood. I am not even wishing to sing as good as her the hair would be totally fine. 

None of those things seemed to happen just yet so here is what I got for you.

Almost just as great, two of my favorite things! Happy 100th post from Bent & I.

372

For the last month or so I was preparing myself to pay attention to when I had my 1 year blogaversary. Well I sort missed that by 7 days. It has been 372 days since I wrote my first post about "Tiger" buried in my back yard. After heehawing around for a year trying to decide how I was going to landscape in around and above the tombs of these dogs. I finally decided that I would leave them be and bury them for good. As of last week my new stamped concrete patio is all finished and it looks pretty awesome. 

Crazy how when you are looking back over the last year it seems to have been so long ago yet feel like it went so fast after the fact. Trust me there were a lot of moments this last year that seemed to just inch along. I am glad to say that I made it through a pretty tough year. l am thankful for everything that God has blessed me with. I am thankful my parents are still here after their almost fatal accident. I am thankful for my hubby, family and friends. And even though I hate it I am thankful for the hard times as well. 

Here's to another 372 days :)

Tuesday's Tips: LOSE IT

Problem: 5 Extra Uncomfortable Pounds

Solution: The Lose It App for IPhone

This little ap is actually super handy and can go anywhere you go. Basically you start off by entering your current weight and then your goal weight and if you would like to lose .5, 1, 1.5 or 2 pounds a week and it will calculate your total calorie intake. You then enter all your meals, snacks and don't forget those beverages. You can also enter any and all exercises you do including housework and it adds to your calories for the day. It is a great little ap and I am down almost 4 of my 5 extra very uncomfortable pounds. 

Emotions from a hormonal INFERTILE girl

Do you ever have those days that you feel like the world is just squeezing in on you? Nothing seems right, your emotions are all over the place and there is not a sympathetic bone in your body for anyone else. I am so tired of feeling this way month after month.

Have you ever seen the movie Knocked Up? It is about a man and women who meet at a bar and have a one night stand and get pregnant. Not the most wholesome movie ever but there is a really funny part in the movie(aside from a bad word) when the dad to be starts yelling at his baby mama and says " (Insert F word) you hormones, not you just the hormones". He is basically telling his baby mama she has gone crazy b/c of her crazy hormones. Well that is how I feel except my hormones are not being caused by a greater good, they are just being produced from my wacked out hormonal INFERTILE body.

Yep I have officially been put into the class of people who get to say they have infertility. Lovely isn't it? Infertility sucks big time which in turns just makes me think that life sucks. What really sucks is no one even really asks me how I am any more.  Okay that part was a little dramatic  not true there are a few people like my mom and a few others who have experienced infertility that ask me. I realize it is probably hard for everyone else to ask me about it b/c they cannot relate. People who have not experienced infertility are quick to either dismiss my feelings, tell me  to relax, tell me of someone else who has gone through the same thing or worse(yeah that makes me feel better… NOT), tell me to exercise, have sex in this or that position, advise me on certain foods to eat and the list goes on. I realize that this post is kind of brutal but this is what is real people. Ask anyone who has gone through infertility.

My husband had a really rough childhood. He tells me sometimes that he is always looking for the next big disaster to hit. Sometimes I get so mad at myself for feeling sorry for myself but then I think about how unfair it is that I get to be just another person in Luke's life that gets to let him down. I know he does not look at it that way but I sure feel like the failure. He is the one who has to deal with my meltdowns each and every month. Even if I do not deserve everything to be easy in my life doesn't he deserve just one thing to be easy?

In realty I know it is not this bad all the time  just today and tomorrow is a new day.

Shower Time

I got the pleasure of throwing my best friend Laura a baby shower last Saturday. My mom and I had a lot of fun planning it and making all of the decorations. I also enjoyed using my brand new camera to take pictures of everything set up before everyone came. 

Details:

• Colors: Orange & Turquoise
• Theme: Pinwheels & Elephants

Jones Soda : We removed the original labels, goo gone the sticky off and then put our own Ellery Wynn label on these bottles. One of my favorite things about this is the old fashioned Coca Cola wooden box that my nanny gave me. 

Candy Game, presents & awesome Ellery sign made from my cri-cut machine.

Funfetti cupcakes with homemade icing and the cute little elephant hole is compliments of Martha Stewart.

View of the left side of the room. We made  pinwheels to put in mason jars with sand to hold them in place. 

Elephant Prayer Tree: We took a fallen branch from outside and spray painted it orange. 

Our favor was a little silver time that we put orange and turquoise jelly bellies in with a little elephant on top. We also made mini pinwheels to go around the napkins.

It was a great day and everything turned out great. As fun as it was I am glad to have a little break. Party planning is quite a full time event :)

3 YEARS

May 9th was our three year anniversary. We went up to Chicago for the day and caught a cubs game and celebrated the win with some UNO's pizza. The day was really fun but not near as fun as this day!!

Hungary Caterpiller

I threw a shower for my assistant swim coach this winter(with the help of my mom of course). Our theme was Hungary Caterpillar here is the shower in pictures.

Thursday Latelies: Sunshine and Wind

Happy Thursday hope you are having a great week! 

26 Goals UPDATE - March

I was kind of pushing this update just a little!! I don't feel like I had much to update but I am doing this anyway I want to be able to keep myself accountable and look back on things I accomplished. Here goes March.

#1: Have a baby - No, Nope, Nada, Nothing. I bet you are thinking hum what's going on. Don't worry you are not alone I think that everyday. :)
#2: Become more healthy - Should I leave this blank?? Guess what though in April's post I will be able to tell you I put myself on a two treats a week. Get excited for that update :)
#3: Workout 2 to 3 times a week: NOPE - I did by the Zumba DVD's(but they are still in the packaging)
#4: Stay away from pop and Starbucks hot chocolate - POP yes, Hot Chocolate yes!
#5: Make dinner at least once a week  - So much better, I think my hubby would even agree
#6: Do Laundry twice a week so that it stays current  - Yes! What I have found that if you do one load of laundry a day or every other day it is so easy. My laundry room is actually clean and I moved my sewing machine in there. It is actually a really fun room to be in now.
#7: Clean out my clothes closet and get rid of at least ten items a month  - YES, Talk about purging, my mom and I took a car load full to Salvation Army and alot of my stuff was clothes. I feel great!
#8: Use all the food in my fridge so it does not go to waste: I have been trying to just buy what we need and go to the store more often. It probably is more expensive in teh long run but food doesnot go to waste so that is good.
#9: Start or join a women's bible study - Reading THE STORY - Our small group is still plugging away
#10: Go on a date with my hubby once a week. - We  even went to lunch once last month. Can you believe it I think that has happened a total of never during the work day since we have been together. 
#11: Get something for my fish tank once a month. - 3 Snails and some other really cool fish that filters the bottom of the tank and I named him Butter Face.
#12: Send a encouraging note via mail once a month to one of my family or friends. - YES
#13: Make my bed everyday - Horrible x 100,  HORRIBLE X 1,000,000
#14: Get up at 6:30 everyday so I have some down time. -SKIP PLEASE
#15: Go to bed by 11:00pm every night on the weekdays - Much better, less insomnia
#16: Write down one positive of the day - Probably every other day
#17: Tell my husband at least one thing I appreciate or love about him every day. - I think I may be up to 85%. It is crazy that once you get in a habit it becomes easier. 
#18: Eat breakfast every morning - NO, I have skipped lunch alot lately and instead of it helping my middle situation I think I am hanging on to more fat. So much for my quest to become beach body ready before my trip in April.
#19: Do not nag my husband about his shoes or clothes being everywhere when he gets home - Much Better,I may even nominate myself for the Good Wife Award. I know my hubby should get the best Husband Award. Crazy how when you both try and make things a habit you both feel loved. 
#20: Call my sisters at least once a week - Not sure, Don't think I did terrible
#21: Go above and beyond at work at least once a week - YES
#22: Not complain when I feel sad or bad - I did pretty good for the month of March
#23: Learn a new scripture once a week and memorize it - :(
#24: Read a book once a month - Started reading the Hungar Games book #3
#25: Start and finish projects within a two week period - Well our bathroom is finished
#26: Blog at least twice a week - Not much better on this front I am afraid

Okay that's it, kind of boring I know! Hope you are all out enjoying the sunshine.

Not a Draft

I was looking over my draft posts that I started and then stopped writing over the last week and a half the titles hit me as really comical. I never posted any of them b/c they were just me be negative over and over again. Sometimes it helps to just get your emotions out. Here were the titles of the last three posts: 

• 4/5/2012 - Another One Bites The Dust
• 4/9/2012 - Headaches = My Life
• 4/10/2012 - Warning: Crazy Mean Lady

Today has been a good day and thus is worthy to be published. . Today God reminded me that even when I (key word here) feel like he has forgotten about me he has not and never will. I found out today that I can switch insurance plans in August and go on my work's and they will cover infertility. I also found out that there will be no waiting period for any pre-existing conditions. This is a huge blessing a blessing that could save us tens of thousands of dollars. I have been so stressed out trying to have a baby and trying to do it before I had to start infertility. Talk about a double whammy when you can't get pregnant and then are stressing out about how much it is going to cost you to even take the next step. Don't get me wrong it will not be cheap any way you take it but at least I feel like now it is possible. This is not the path I would have chosen to go down but I am blessed once again that God provides for us all the time. My hope is that I can just keep the big picture in mind. I have said it over and over that I truly know God's plan is bigger and greater then the one I have for myself. I just keep praying that maybe just maybe the plan is for me to get pregnant naturally. If it were to happen naturally I just can't tell you how blessed I would feel for this to happen. I know one thing when we are given a child it is going to be the most loved and wanted baby. I may just end up being that mom that never puts her baby down :)

Thursday Latelies: Can you say DOUBLE CHIN!

Tuesday Tips: Organized Pantry

Problem:    Unorganized Panty. Last week when I was in Texas Laura and I decided to tackle her pantry. Like my pantry Laura’s had become overgrown and crazy due to moving into a new house and the craziness of life.

Solution:     Dollar General!! This is the absolute best place to tackle a project for super cheap. Everything in the store is $1.00. We ended up getting seven containers for $7.00 and some change. We took taking everything out of her closet, sorted out the pitch, garage sale and keep. Here are the 3 musts to be able to tackle a project like this:

-        Find a friend (It is so much easier and more fun to have someone to chat with during a task like this).

-        Buy some cheap containers to sort and hold different items

-        Purge! – Get rid of things you don’t use or may not have used in a long time. Chances are if you need that item you can borrow it. 

Tuesday’s Tip: Bad smelling washing machine

Problem: Bad smell in your washing machine leaving you wishing you could give it a breath mint.

Solution: 

• First leave your washing machine lid open after wash till it dries out. This will help cut down on mildewing. 
• Second, apply 1 cup of vinegar to your washing machine (without clothes) and run a full cycle.  This cleans the hoses and unclogs the soap scum that has built up over time. And most importantly gets rid of the foul smell.